Well, it’s a whole new year, I’m back in the saddle at work, aside from picking up the pieces of my life after an explosive Christmas dinner at home, things are pretty much the same as they were before.
I never understood why people feel that the world should be any different after an arbitrary date decided to mark the full circuit our planet takes around the sun. Life is a journey and a process, not a destination or culmination – the eventual destination or culmination of everything is death folks. I’m not living to die, I’m living to live people!
An in that effort to live, grow and evolve in my life and outlook, I have had to learn how to accept who I am, who I was and what has happened to me in the past, regardless of whether I liked it or not. The past exists and is immutable and it affects who you become as a person, whether you like it or not!
As part of my weight loss journey, I’ve been going for counselling to deal with my food issues and also to understand why I let myself go and also accept the person whom I’ve become, flaws and all. I’ve continued with this activity throughout 2011 and have begun to understand why I am the person I am.
So my New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to accept the person I am, the person I was, the person I’ve become and everything that has happened in my past to make me this person. It has also meant that I have had to confront and/or forgive various people in my life, including myself, for various reasons.
I know I’m not perfect and I’m sure that I’ve left my fair share of devastation in my wake, especially as I have been coming to grips with who I am as an individual and where I fit in this world.
Forgiveness has been a word that has come up in my life a lot recently and I’ve had to confront a number of people who have wronged in my past to both discuss how their actions have shaped me as an adult as well as attempt to forgive them for their actions. So far, I’ve been mostly successful and I’m continuing to work on this as I gain strength as an individual and am able to further forgive myself for hurting others and myself.
I can only ask and hope that the people whom I have wronged in the past are able to do the same with me.