It’s been a rather strange couple of weeks since the last serious update on my life in general. While things are kind of plodding along, they are generally heading in a positive direction in most cases these days.
I seem to work in brief and intense flurries of activity followed by periods of inactivity or waiting for things external to me to catch up.
Work on the CD continues furiously. I have met with the artist who I want to do the interior artwork and liner notes, I have also clarified how the recording is going to occur and what songs are going to be on the project. I am equally excited and nervous as this will be the first full release as “Myke Hutchings” and not as part of a group or hiding behind a pseudonym.
After 38 some odd years as a being and 25 some odd years as a musician, I am finally comfortable in my own skin.
It’s taken a while, but I have found my voice on my instrument and rediscovered my voice as a writer. I have removed most evidence of old songs from various distributions as I feel they no longer represent the person I have become. I am not the angry and confused person I used to be, I’m still full of my usual angst, but it’s more focused and purpose driven at the moment. Gone are the days of “I am the enigma, nobody can understand me as I explore the darkness within my soul.” <sheepish grin> Gone, too, are the days of writing long and involved progressive rock operas based on the Dune series of novels <EXTREMELY embarrassed grin>.
Since DH was diagnosed with cancer all those years ago, I put my music career on hold to focus on supporting him in his struggles with the disease, its treatment and their combined effects on his body, health and spirit. When he was given the gift of new life through a transplant, I was there for him while he recovered from his surgery. For almost five years, I ceased being a husband and was a caregiver.
After he recovered, it took some time and counselling to cease being his caregiver. I had also replaced certain things missing in my life with an eating disorder and, after becoming sick and tired of being sick and tired, I regained control of my life and focused on my physical and emotional health for perhaps the first time. Since December 2009, it’s been a tumultuous couple of years.
The project is to be entitled “table for one” which is representative of the solipsistic nature of the songs.
sol·ip·sism/ˈsälipˌsizəm/Noun: The view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.
This project was written during a period of self-discovery through therapy as an individual and with DH. The bulk of the material was written in various cafés around Hamilton, Ontario and the packaging of the actual physical product will reflect that as I have a visual record of each writing session. The title and packaging was inspired by a work of art by a local artist who has graciously granted me permission to use this work as the cover design.
But Myke, you ask, what will table for one have on it, song-wise? The short answer is the results of the past few years of journaling, writing and for the first time in a long while, feeling complete as a human being. Make no mistake; the writing on this CD is dark, angst-ridden, in some places angry and in a few spaces, downright scary. However it chronicles my journey over the past few years of putting my life back together in as much honesty as I can muster up.
How much honesty? I honestly don’t know how I’m going to sing at least one of the songs on the recording, let alone attempt it live. It’s still that raw to me. This is why the CD is going to be solo, with me performing all the instruments on it (for the most part) and under my name. This music is that personal to me.
Folks I’m not afraid of looking towards the light, I just also believe in exploring the shadows that it creates. Particularly when these shadows I am exploring are ones I cast. I’m just trying to open myself to the light a little further so I cast fewer shadows both around and within.
Musically, what to expect? Distorted, thrashing guitars? Heavy drums? Unlikely. The bulk of the music was composed using my six string bass and will feature a lot of ambient soundscapes reflecting the dark and contemplative nature of the song lyrics. It will be fairly organic and moody with a lot of acoustic guitar and ambient noises from the world around me. I’ve been wandering the city and recording the sounds that have been present in my day to day life here in Hamilton, it stands to reason that they will be present in my music too.
It’s going to be an interesting journey. I hope everyone will enjoy the ride as much as I am at the moment!