Leonard Cohen said the above phrase when he performed at the then O’Keefe Centre in Toronto on his “The Future” tour, which marked the revitalization of his musical career.
The past week has been a good reminder of this phrase for me. The shit has hit the fan indeed.
DHis still in the hospital, recovering from his liver issues all the while they are doing the pre-operative assessments and testing as well. Once he is released, he can recover at home until the surgery date.
What is increasingly clear to me during all of this is that times like these spotlight the differences between true friends, family and mere acquaintances. When the shit hits the fan, is when the rubber hits the road and you determine whose words actually resort into actions.
Now as a Myers-Briggs INTJ, I usually try to maintain a level of protection around myself and pride myself in independence. My closest friends and family know that when I do need help, I will reach out accordingly and ask. As my asking for help tends to be a rare occasion, they tend to gladly help out with little question and I thank and love them dearly for it.
For that, DB, DM2, ME, Lady Ellen, Bekah and the Cabot-Armstrongs get my eternal gratitude. There have also been the various other folks (I’m looking at you Messrs. Wamsley, Morton, Scutella, Kuruc and Kuplens-Ewart) who don’t know me so well but have performed random acts of kindness and distraction that have helped stem me from the road of self-immolation. These folks receive my gratitude as well!
It’s the folks who say “if you need anything, just ask” and don’t follow through with that promise when I do ask that continue to disappoint me. I won’t name names here, but I will say a lot of people (particularly some folks who consider themselves to be, and openly promote themselves as, “good Christians”) have truly disappointed me and this will be remembered accordingly. It seems that when it comes time to put one’s time and energy where one’s mouth is…
Anyhow, I won’t bitch any further. Just saying, if you aren’t going to back up your words with action, please don’t open your mouth…mmmkay?
Also folks, thank you for the words of support, but if I hear:
“You have to be strong for DH,” one more time, I will either scream or throttle the person who imparts this little shard of wisdom. I know this, but ask them who will be strong for me?
Anyways, distractions have been good for me. I am writing music furiously, reading voraciously and exercising like a man possessed. I have returned to a normal work schedule, working five days a week regular hours so I can focus on having time at the end of the day to break chores up into little pieces instead of rushing around at the end of the day and cramming a whole lot of activity into Wednesdays…I am doing this to take better care of me, so I can be strong for DH <GRIN>
Over and out folks! Be good to one another, because life can truly be a motherfucker sometimes.