And I ain’t about to apologise for it!
People have asked me recently why I’ve been so quiet and haven’t blogged.
It isn’t because I haven’t had a lot to say, because I have. It’s mainly because I try to be a positive person on my blog and provide information to enlighten and entertain. As of late, I haven’t had a lot to be positive about. There is just too much negativity going on around me and it has been getting me down over the past few months:
- While I am enjoying the challenges of singing some of the most beautiful classical music ever written and being paid for the honour to do so, I continue to struggle with the politics of organized religion and my attempts to set aside the past wrongs and damage that occurred in my life under the guise of Christianity. I oftentimes view my Christian friends with a mixture of scepticism and envy…sceptical of their views, knowing how the power that society grants those claiming to be G*d’s messenger can be abused and envious of their ability to let go and put their faith in something so freely.
- I recently applied for (and won) a promotion at work, which was placed “on indefinite hold” due to my current team being understaffed (since September, we have had 4 people leave our team due to long term disability or transfer to temporary assignments), due to a current hiring freeze.
- For the first time in five years, I requested one week of vacation time during the summer months. Of the five days I requested, two non-consecutive days were approved. So much for going on tour.
- DH continues his chemotherapy for treatment of pancreatic cancer, when he is healthy enough to have it, however the ravages of the medical poisoning have wreaked havoc on his body and he has required a blood transfusion and a number of weeks off from treatment, making his 6 month ordeal into an 8 month plus ordeal.
- Until 2 weeks ago, DH also had the looming threat of a tumour on his lungs, possibly requiring further surgery and a review of treatment. However that was ruled out when the spot they discovered on December 22nd (Merry fucking Christmas) had disappeared by February. However that provided us with almost three months of uncertainty and stress that we honestly did not need.
- Our neighbours are currently struggling with their son’s health. At eighteen years of age, he caught a bad cold around a month ago, which led to a viral infection which attacked his heart. As of two weeks ago this otherwise healthy boy is now in the ICU at Toronto General Hospital awaiting a heart transplant with an artificial pump circulating blood through his body, keeping him alive. ALL FROM A BAD COLD! If I haven’t nagged you enough already through other social media sites, please go to The Trillium Foundation and sign up as an organ donor.
- This same family also just had to deal with the loss of another beloved family member when they had to put their 14 year old cocker spaniel to sleep this past weekend.
- Recently a co-worker lost her baby, less than one week away from her due date. She has miscarried once before.
So mykesworld has been kind of a dark place as of late.
Don’t get me wrong! A lot of good stuff has occurred in my life and I am thankful for it. I still maintain my health, I am lucky to have the love and support of DH and his continued strength as he fights the worst motherfucker of an illness a second time in his life. I have incredibly supportive and patient friends and family whom I love and truly respect. I still have a job that covers my expenses and allows me the luxury of pursuing my musical career in my own terms. I am a VERY thankful and lucky person indeed!
However it has also been a dark and introspective period for me, where I’ve been focusing on the folks around me, providing as much love and support as I can for them. I’m just trying to avoid bringing other people down in the meantime!