questions nobody seems to have the answer to

It’s been three months and I have a number of questions that have remained unanswered to date.  I’ve talked to counsellors, friends who have lost spouses, clergy and coworkers and nobody is able to provide a succint, pat answer to any of these.

I suspect nobody will actually ever have an answer to them but I’m going to ask them aloud anyways:

  1. When does it stop hurting?
  2. How long does the feeling of incredible loneliness last?
  3. When is an acceptable time to start considering “moving on”?
  4. When does the guilt for even thinking about moving on subside?
  5. How can I even consider the possibility of anyone to replace the one person who meant more than anything else in this world to me?
  6. Will I find someone who is just as good as the one person who meant more than anything else in this world to me?
  7. When will my anger for losing the one person who meant more than anything else in this world subside?
  8. Am I justified in feeling this constant combination of hurt, pain, fear, anger and guilt?
  9. Are people being nice to me simply because of this?  Am I being handled with kid gloves? Are they being honest with me or protecting me from some dark truth?
  10. Why are some of my friends avoiding me?  When I need them now more than ever?
  11. Why can’t some people just leave me alone?